Minimizing the Drama at Spring Gatherings
With Passover already under way, Easter coming this Sunday, and Mother’s Day in May, chances are that you are looking forward to one or more family-centric celebrations. More often than not, though – whether you are a guest or host – you may even be approaching these holidays with a bit of anxiety, perhaps even downright trepidation.
Certainly there’s always so much to do in the way of planning and preparing for these gatherings. But for so many of us that’s not the main stressor. Instead, it’s the fear of a family drama breaking out to ruin it all. I know I’ve been there, done that and you maybe you have too.
It goes without saving that if you’re hosting, you shouldn’t seat your ultra-conservative nephew next to his bleeding liberal cousin, neither of whom have ever gotten. To keep sane, instead, consider some ideas that may not be so obvious. Meant to lighten your mental load, these tips might be just what’s needed to reduce the chances of a dramatic performance raining on your family’s get together this spring.
For Hosts
A happy and pleasant host can make a big impact on guests and put everyone more at ease. As a result, you might be helping to reduce family tensions simply with a smile.
Organize as much in advance as possible, so you’ll be able to enjoy yourself and guests. If you aren’t using place cards, make a seating chart ahead of time. Also draft a list of what’s on your menu, so you don’t forget to serve anything.
Do as much the day before as you can. Set the table 24 hours in advance. Consider putting paper notes in each serving dish telling what goes in it so your guests can help you serve. Try cooking as much as possible a day or two ahead of time, then reheat for the festive meal.
Be well-rested. Tempers under stress snap more easily if you feel cranky, drained, and exhausted. Get some extra sleep the night before guests are due into town or take a nap several hours before everyone arrives at the house.
Appoint someone else to manage children so you can entertain. Get older kids to look after younger ones or if you can afford it, hire a neighbor to keep the youngsters busy. Have a few age-appropriate games, toys, or crayons on hand for the kids to play with while the adults enjoy each other’s company.
For Guests
Each guest can also set the tone for family gatherings. By doing your small part to act as you’d like to be treated, you’ll be surprised at how many family tiffs can be avoided or at the very least minimize the chances that they’ll turn into full-out battles.
Be gracious. Ask the host what they’d like you to bring. Even if they say nothing, think of something they’d enjoy and bring it any way. Remember to say thank you both when you arrive and when you leave.
Don’t bring friends or family members with you that were not invited. It may be better for you and the rest of the family if you respect the host’s choice of guests. Otherwise, everyone might be happier if you pass up attending just this once.
Insist on helping the host in some way. Many of us don’t want to admit when we need help, but most will appreciate if you do offer assistance, especially with cleanup.
For Hosts & Guests
Check your attitude at the door. Adults always seem to have a harder time with this one than kids do. Try extra hard to avoid bringing up sensitivities in conversation. Don’t participate in gossip about other family members or their significant others, either.
With little changes like these, just think of how much more pleasant your family gatherings will be this year. After all, pleasant family memories beat out the bad ones any day of the year. Don’t they?
By Janis Brett Elspas, Guest Columnist
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Getting Kids Excited About Eating Healthy Foods is a Piece of Cake
By Janis Brett Elspas, Guest Columnist
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If you’re a mom, dad, or caregiver of a kid from toddler through high school, you know what a challenge it can be getting your youngster to eat healthy. No doubt, you also are well aware of the lure of junk food for today’s youth. You might even have a child with food allergies and have had to rise to even greater nutritional challenges.
"Try to always have ready-to-eat fresh food on hand that looks and tastes good"
But eating well doesn’t have to be a struggle. In fact, chances are you’ll be surprised at the reactions you get from your child if you just put some thought and effort into presenting a choice of healthy options to him/her. Nutritionists generally agree that the body – especially a younger one with growth spurts – has a natural inclination to seek food with the nutrients necessary to function properly.
For example, if a child comes home from school ravenous and you put both a bowl of potato chips and a slice of steaming cheese pizza in front of him, guess which one most kids will reach for first? That’s right – the pizza — because the eyes, nose and mind, along with the base feeling of hunger, are subconsciously directing the kid to choose the food that has more nutritional value. The potato chips become much less appealing when side by side with a food that will ultimately leave the child with a greater sense of satisfaction, both physically and mentally.
But, what if you present your child with a bowl of chips and a plate of hot broccoli – a vegetable this particular kid despises? This time the unhealthier choice prevails simply because the healthy option wasn’t appealing enough.
While it’s true that the chips, broccoli, and pizza triangle scenario may seem extreme, it does illustrate a very good point. When given two options, the child has a higher chance of going for the food that’s better for his body than the one with empty calories as long as it looks appetizing to him.
Good nutrition isn’t about forbidding all the so-called junk food because in small quantities it won’t make a kid unhealthy. It’s really about you, the parent, doing your part to make sure there are enough desirable healthy options that your child can choose from.
A few easy lessons on nutrition
• Don’t eliminate junk food altogether, just limit it. I’m a believer in allowing snack foods kids enjoy in moderate quantities because I think it may actually stave off the tendency toward a diet made up almost exclusively of food that is bad for you.
• Try to always have ready-to-eat fresh food on hand that looks and tastes good — like watermelon, ripe berries, or colorful crispy vegetables with ranch dressing — for between meal snacking.
• Lastly, if your child suffers from food allergies, look for appetizing alternatives. Rather than a feeling of missing out, show them that a substitution is often even better than the original.
It’s really that simple, to do rather than lecture about nutrition. Present your family with the right options and healthy eating will be a piece of cake.
How to Wok a Chicken
If I can cook, so can you
The Tangy Bits Onions, Garlic, Ginger etc.
The Fillers Broccoli, Carrots, Chicken, Beef, Mushrooms, Potatoes, Bell Peppers, etc.
The Spices Soy Sauce, Sriracha, Stir Fry Sauce, Chili Powder, Oyster Sauce, Hoisin Sauce, etc.
First, take your pick of the tangy bits (I personally like to use all three). 1/2 onion, 3 cloves of garlic and an inch of ginger ought to do it. Then chop ‘em up.
Then take your pick of the fillers (I like to use carrots, broccoli and chicken). A good ratio to use is 1 carrot, 1 bushel of broccoli and .75 lbs of chicken. Then chop those up too.
Now it’s time to start cookin. Add some oil to your wok/pan, brown the chicken (or beef) and set it aside. Add a little more oil and fry the onion, garlic and ginger until the onion becomes soft. Add the carrots, broccoli and chicken, stir it around for a bit, and start adding in the spices (I use salt, pepper, soy sauce, stir fry sauce & sriracha). Add the spices in slowly, stirring and tasting as you go along. Once you think it tastes good, and the fillers look cooked, you’re done.
This recipe is all about making it your own. Add a much or as little of these ingredients as you like, it really doesn’t matter as long as you think it tastes good.
Mobile Shopping is Here to Stay – How to Shop for Your Family Smartly With Your Handheld Device
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Store Locator app from WhitePages
This holiday season thanks to the Blackberry, iPhone, iPad and other mobile devices now on the market, hand held cell phone/computer combo wonders are giving their desktop computer and laptop cousins a run for their money – bringing mobile computing to many more holiday shoppers than ever before. In fact, this holiday, sales generated by mobile shopping are expected to reach more than $2 billion — about 4% of the total sales projected this season.
With all the increased affordability, ease of use and what seems like an unending up tick in the added functionality of mobile devices and apps available, it makes sense that you harness all that’s there for the taking. As a result you’ll be able to shop much more efficiently for your family, saving not only time, but also getting the best deals.
Besides leaving the kids home so you can shop alone, here are my top 5 tips for mobile shopping parents
1. Research in advance by searching the websites of your favorite stores for coupons. Also it will save time in-store if you’ve done your homework and know what sales are going on and where.
2. Fully charge your device before leaving the house. As an extra precaution, keep a second cable for charging in your car at all times so you’ll never be caught with a dead phone when you’re in the store. Also be sure to use your GPS to map out your shopping route.
3. Use your mobile device’s camera in the store to take pictures of things that you are you might want to buy. This really comes in handy when you need to get your hubbie’s permission to make a major purpose or when you want to buy your fashionista teen daughter a sweater but can’t decide which of the 12 colors to choose.
4. While you’re waiting in long lines at the store, scan Facebook and Twitter pages of the places you are planning to go to next so you’ll have the latest info on new deals.
5. Load up on the latest applications for mobile shopping such as the free Mobile Store Locator app from WhitePages that helps consumers by automatically suggesting popular stores nearby — providing one-tap access to all the contact information including business address, phone number, maps and driving directions, website link, and hours of operation.
With these simple strategies, you’ll be surprised at how much less-stressed you feel. After all, the reason for the season really is all about the kids and being with loved ones. Come to think of it, who wouldn’t want to spend more quality time together as a family, rather than chasing bargains all over town?
How do you shop. Do you shop for bargains and ideal gifts all year and stash them away, shop between Thanksgiving and Christmas, or are you a procrastinator who waits until December 24th to go shopping? Please leave a comment and share your unique shopping strategy and feel free the include a funny story or two if you like.
Top 5 Ways to Meet That Special Someone in the City
1. Through a friend – The holy grail of dating.
You’re at a party or out for drinks, and your buddy shows up with one of his/her old college/work pal who A) went to college B) has a job and C) is gorgeous. You proceed to play it cool, while secretly doing a little gig in your head.
This scenario is ideal in so many ways, but as we get older and our social network gets more and more familiar, hopes of the “met through a friend” scenario become more and more fleeting.
2. At a bar – The less ideal, but most common situation.
You’re at a bar or cocktail lounge with your buddies laughing away at their hilarities while covertly scanning the room for hotties. Perhaps you catch one looking your direction from a far off corner, and as your eyes catch, fireworks burst and visions of fairytale endings flash through your head.
This scenario is wonderful when it works out, but more often than not, when the fireworks flicker away all you are left with are a bunch of awkward one-liners.
3. At work – A far less ideal situation, but it happens.
You’re brand new on the job, and run into the man/woman of your dreams in the break room. Pleasantries turn into flirting and flirting turns into dinner. Before you know it you’ve broken every rule about not dating in the workplace, and are ready to walk down the aisle with your co-worker.
Again, this scenario is wonderful when it works out, but when it doesn’t… dun dun dun. A bad break-up can mean a hostile work environment, or just a whole lot of awkward moments.
4. Online – A place to go when you’re ready give fate a helping hand.
There are many places to turn to when considering online dating. There is of course match.com, eharmony.com, chemistry.com and the lesser-known sugardaddie.com. Online dating has many perks- you can browse potential dates from the comfort of your own home and weed out the ones who still live with their parents. But you can also spend hours sifting through profile after profile, obsessing about the best “About Me” paragraph and whether or not you should lie about your age.
5. Speed dating – For when you need to meet someone NOW.
Worst-case scenario, you sit through dozens of 5-minute conversations with people who have either dabbled in witchcraft or think Panama is a city in Florida. But best-case scenario you sit through dozens of 5-minute conversations with people who are just like you –busy, single, and want to not be single.
DealPop Presents: the secret 6th option: Speed Dating re-invented! Anoush Stevenson, a match-making expert from London and founder of SpeedLA Dating, has transformed speed dating into laid-back cocktail party experience complete with quality singles, gourmet food, and of course, drinks. This form of speed dating, which she calls “cheeky chic”, is all about fun. By keeping the atmosphere light and relaxing with cheeky icebreakers, awkward nerves are magically whisked away leaving date seekers relaxed and ready to mingle.
At SpeedSeattle dating the worst-case scenario is that you have a great night out eating and drinking with your friends.
It’s worth a try- especially when it’s half off. Click here to see the Deal in Seattle.
Secrets to a Stress-Free Halloween Trick-or-Treating Experience With Kids
Halloween can be a real zoo, can’t it? Yes, rare is the child who doesn’t get a bit over stimulated from all the excitement about costumes, pumpkin carving, decorating, and other holiday stuff. Add into the mix Trick-or-Treating and the effects of all that candy on even the most docile child and many parents are bound to feel slightly overwhelmed.
The good news is it doesn’t have to be so stressful. That is, if you apply some easy strategies that can minimize your stress and maximize the family fun.
Be Certain You Are Stocked Up With Candy to Give Out in Advance
Don’t wait to buy your treats until the day before Halloween. If you get it as far ahead as possible, you’ll not only have a much better choice to pick from, you’ll also not have to fight the crowd of harried shoppers that will be at the store last-minute.
Have Your Kid’s Costume Completely Assembled Several Days Ahead
Whether your child will be wearing a store-bought or a DIY costume, you’ll both be a lot calmer if you get everything together for their getup 2-3 days before the big day. Then, on the morning of Halloween Eve, set out the bag or container they’ll be using to trick-or-treat along with the main costume and everything that’s needed to complete their look: face makeup, accessories, shoes, props, etc.
Set Trick-or-Treating Boundaries
Trying to negotiate with a 5 year-old who’s heading out the door about how many houses he can visit or what his bedtime will be is almost certain to stir up tempers for you both, right? So, why not instead try explaining the rules early in the day, before your child is in costume starry-eyed with visions of candy. That way your child will know well in advance exactly what you expect from him.
Get Some Well-Deserved Pre-Halloween Rest
Everyone will have so much more fun if you are not overtired and cranky. So, depending on the age and energy level of your child, encourage her to take a nap or just kick back for several hours of quiet time in the afternoon prior to going out to trick-or-treat. As a matter of fact, whether or not you’ll be handing out candy at home and/or accompanying your child as she goes door-to-door, you might want to consider banking some sleep for yourself while they’re resting, too.
Enjoy an Early Leisurely Family Dinner Prior to Sundown
A few hours before your child gets dressed up to go out, serve a light, simple, and healthy meal such as their favorite hot soup and some warm rolls. If you and your child are well nourished and relaxed at this point, you’ll both have the fuel to savor all the evening’s excitement.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised about how much happier and relaxed these simple ideas make you and your child feel. After your youngster has returned home from her neighborhood adventures and is safely tucked in her bed with visions of candy corn, chocolate bars, and caramel candies dancing in her head, you’ll both be able to look back on the holiday with a sense of satisfaction and joy.
More by Janis at Mommy Blog Expert or follow her at @MommyBlogExpert
